


Everybody Hates Fresh (Fic Request)

by DarkstarWolf53



Series: Crackfics [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27570640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkstarWolf53/pseuds/DarkstarWolf53
Summary: This is going to be another crackfic in which i get to annoy the ATWR version of Fresh. Requested by Maxils/Mod Crossant on the blog.ATWR (C) Maxils and InPrisonForSparklingNote: if you like the 90s nightmare that is Fresh!Sans, don't read this; he gets smacked around a lot in hereTeen rating/violence warning are because of one scene in chapter 3. Evenifelt bad for Fresh in that one
Series: Crackfics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015314
Comments: 9
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maxils](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxils/gifts).
  * Inspired by ["And they were roommates!"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24878263) by [InPrisonForSparkling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InPrisonForSparkling/pseuds/InPrisonForSparkling), [Maxils](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxils/pseuds/Maxils). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Maxils/Mod Crossant on the ATWR blog. Not as stupid as the Broomie one but still weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: the book Weaver is reading is a big coffee table book which is why it can hide a fox sized little goddess.

ATWR-verse Fresh has annoyed the idiots one time too many. Even Dream is mad at him. The idiots team up and shove him through a portal. He crashes through several dimensional rifts before landing painfully on his tailbone.

"Dang, that's gotta hurt mah host" he mutters as he gets up and looks around.

Sitting against a tree is another Error that's looking at him funny. This one has a book in hand. He looks wary but oddly is not being aggressive.

"Did ya hit ya head or something?" asks Fresh, stepping closer. 

A cat-like growl freezes him in his tracks.

"Didn't we already take care of that guy?" asks Error, looking behind his book at something or someone.

"This is a different one," says a strange and almost musical female voice, "It smells different and its magic feels different."

"So probably another multiverse, eh? How thin is the veil today?"

"About normal, but a little frayed in places after that tar skele kidnapped you yet _again_. Seriously Weaver, you are such a trouble magnet."

"I know, i know," he jokes, reaching behind the book to pet the something or someone, "So fix the veil after fluffy time?"

"Of course. And i need to ground Nightmare too; maybe then he'll find a new hobby."

* * *

Fresh just stares at the Error talking with intense confusion for several minutes, his glasses reading "HUH?" *Very confused parasite noises*

When the Error puts the book down, there's a fluffy winged being curled up on his lap. He reaches down to scritch the little beast between her wings while studying the newcomer. 

"Since when do ya let anyone touch ya, glitchy-bruh?"

"Definitely another multiverse," says the floof, giving a judgmental glare.

"Come ta think of it, why ain't you tryin' to kill me?" asks the 90s nightmare, taking another step closer.

The flier gives another chilling growl and hops off Error's lap, rearing up on her hind legs, open wings making her look bigger.

"Back off, this one is mine" she growls, returning to her usual quadruped stance and circling him with her ears pinned back.

Fresh immediately puts his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"Easy, miss, i'm not here ta fight!"

He is very alarmed; the bird-cat's behavior is reminding him a lot of Helpful Anon when he scared them.

"So, parasite," says the winged one, sitting between Fresh and her Error, "why are you in this multiverse? It's very clear this is not at all related to your realm; even a backfiring teleport wouldn't send you this far from home."

"Would ya believe i got thrown inta a dimensional rift?"

"Ah, a banishment spell then, that explains it."

She pads back over to her Error.

"Weaver, this thing is telling the truth, and i sense it can't leave under its own power."

"Wait, why ya callin' him Weaver?" asks Fresh, even more confused.

"That's cause i like sewing/knitting" replies the Error, "Plus the strings"

"Ya weirdly calm about this, glitch-boy" 

"You mean the nickname? The little bird-demon here's been calling me that since she took me under her wings-pun intended"

He gives the flier a fond smile and picks her up, though he's still half-watching what Fresh does.

"Nah i mean da fact im here and you arent attackin' or even throwing insults!"

"Eh, no reason to. If you were a threat she'd have killed you by now."

"Dat tiny thing? Ya gotta be kidding"

* * *

Weaver gives him a hard glare, and Fresh finally notices the scars on the Destroyer's neck. They're mostly hidden by his scarf, but still.

The dark skeleton returns his attention to the fluff, knowing she's much more worthy than the local pest. Seems she's reached the same conclusion. The fluff grabs Error's scarf in her sharp little teeth and tucks herself under his chin.

"Do ya gotta do that in front of me?" asks Fresh.

"Shut." say both beings, giving him a glare before resuming cuddles.

"WOW, RUDE" flashes on the glasses.

"So, Storm-mom, how do we get rid of him?"

"He's not an enemy so we just need to shoo him away, no violence necessary."

"I ain't gonna shoo," growls Fresh, annoyed that he's being ignored.

"Huh, so we just throw him into another dimension then?" asks Weaver, still ignoring the irritant.

"Yes, but we'd best be careful til the veil is repaired."

"So where to? We can't risk letting in things that are a risk to our verse."

"I know of one place," she purrs, "and it will serve our purposes well"

Before the intruder can protest, a portal opens under him, closing once he's through.

With him gone, Storm returns to her place on her Weaver.

"Now where were we, momma bird?"

"Papiro was trying to get Sin and Asgoro to talk for once rather than duel over their chosen mate."

"Ah, ok, thanks!" He resumes reading to her.

* * *

Meanwhile, poor Fresh falls into another forest area. Right by a furious version of Nightmare.

"...Well ship"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Storm (the fluffy bird cat who's this Error's mother figure) (C) me- honors a lost loved one, personal character, please do not use  
> Chaos! Error AKA Weaver (C) CupcakePaints  
> ATWR/ATWR-verse characters (C) Maxils and Sparks  
> All other characters (C) their respective owners


	2. Chapter 2

"Back already, princey?' hisses the Nightmare, baring his fangs, "So you failed me again. I warned you."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up, i think you got the wrong guy!" ATWR-Fresh scrambles to his feet and backs away.

"Oh, is that so? Well, there's an easy way to tell."

He takes out a very sharp blade with runes on the handle. 

"Nope nope nope!" yelps the intruder, immediately fleeing for his life.

Nightmare gives chase.

"Get back here, half-blood!"

"Ya definitely got the wrong guy!" he shouts over his shoulder. And then he crashes into something, and both the host and the parasite get smacked.

"...Ow"

As his vision clears, he sees a mare giving him a judgmental look. She picks him up in her teeth and tosses him into the fork of a tree.

"What was dat for?!"

The mare just snorts and leaves, heading to the base of a mountain. The highlighter climbs down, still annoyed, but before he can do anything he's caught by the leg and held upside down, arms bound behind him.

"Let go of me!"

"No, not til im done here," replies the tar skele, binding the intruder and drawing his knife.

At that, the parasite wrenches its host's arm free so it can grab the tendrils, inadvertently spraining the host's arm. Luckily, its host isn't actually conscious. After managing to catch the tendrils, he's able to jerk them the wrong way, hurting NM just enough for Fresh to bolt again.

* * *

"What the funk, why does everyone want to murder me today?! I mean more than usual."

The 90s nightmare looks back. He doesn't see the dark lord, as NM has turned himself into a shadow to track his target. And then he crashes into a tree and knocks himself out. Luckily, the brush is thick here and his attacker doesn't know where he landed. Unfortunately it's also near a certain burrow-den with two feral kids.

As he comes around, said feral kids are peeking out of their nest with wide eyes.

"Enemy," growls... a child version of Error?

"Oof where the funk am i? Why's Glitchy-brah a kid and not talking much? And what the funk did that half-blood comment mean?"

When he steps closer to try to figure out what's going on, the baby Error hisses like a mad cat and bites his host's hand, drawing blood.

"What? Why?"

A baby Ink peeks out over the darker boy's shoulder. It looks like he's hurt and he's definitely scared.

"Ok imma just...leave now" says ATWR Fresh, backing away and making sure his movements are clear; he really doesn't want to know if this cat-child can actually kill him.

"Not enemy, different one," says the baby Ink.

"Funk this ship, i'm out" he mutters, leaving rather quickly.

He decides to flee again, glancing back every so often and making pretty good distance. Until he crashes into yet _another_ thing. But he doesn't get knocked out at least, just momentarily stunned. When he rolls over on his back to see what he crashed into, it's like looking into a mirror.

* * *

"What the..? You're me? What kinda crazy world is this?"

Rather than answer claws rake him across the ribs.

"What da funk? At least explain what's goin' on before tryin' to murder me!"

"So you're th' outlander pest Lord Nightmare was talkin' about" hisses the decidedly more aggressive alternate, "You don't look like much. But i suppose you'll be easy prey at least"

It takes him a minute to realize what the other means.

"Prey?! Wait a minute, have ya been hangin' out wit' Horror, ya demon?"

"Half demon, actually. And i don't know who th' Horror guy you mentioned is"

"He's got a busted skull an' a bad habit of murderin' folks."

"Haven't met anyone like that out here. Now where were we?"

He bares his claws again and grins.

From this distance ATWR-Fresh sees some differences between himself and this double of his. His attacker has a hint of red glowing behind his glasses and is a bit taller. He also doesn't have a gold tooth and looks a bit more feral, for lack of a better term. And his outfit looks more functional (and isn't quite as brightly colored), likely so he can hunt down victims in the woods more easily. There are scars and fracture lines on his wrists and a runed collar-thing on his neck. And he looks way too happy about the sudden violence.

"Whoa, hold it, brah, i'm not here by choice! I'm not a threat, i swear!" says ATWR Fresh as he struggles to get loose.

This version is definitely stronger than he is, but ATWR-Fresh is more motivated. The pest manages to get out from under his attacker and bolt. He doesn't get far, as his dangerous double is used to this terrain and he doesn't exactly fight fair. The half-demon throws a forked branch in his prey's path, tripping him up and pinning him on his back. 

"So you're a two-in-one i see," he hisses, one clawed hand pricking the host's throat and the other hovering just above the parasite, "Very convenient."

Considering how close the claws are to the parasite's weak point, ATWR-Fresh kicks the other off him and scrambles to his feet, throwing a wave of bone attacks to keep the other back. The half-demon's eyes glow and flames surround his hands.

"Ohh ship," mutters the parasite, running off just as the flames vaporize his own attack.

His attacker is on his trail right away; unlike the ATWR-verse, this place is still very wild. For those not used to it, it's hard not to leave a path, especially when a crazy demon is after you and you're running for your life.

Rather than take down his target right away, the other decides to toy with him a bit, intentionally just missing him with another flame attack, herding him to a better area for a fight. He has to be careful in the forest, as a magic-caused wildfire would immediately have the wild god on him, and he'd rather not be on the receiving end of her wrath. A few more blasts and he's herded his prey into a narrow rocky canyon.

ATWR-Fresh suddenly realizes he's cornered, and before he can teleport away a flame blast slams him into a rock so hard that both parasite and host black out for a few seconds. As he comes to, he realizes that 1) he can't move and 2) his hands are pinned behind his back, so even if he could focus enough to use magic, it would risk killing the parasite itself. 

Claws stab into the parasite and its host's soul, and he's too dazed to do anything about it. But just when the other's about to rip him apart, a huge black paw catches the attacker across the back of the neck, sending him flying and leaving him stunned on the ground a distance away. A large winged panther is staring at ATWR-Fresh. 

Now that the temporary paralysis is wearing off, he's unfortunately able to talk again.

"What da funk was that?! What's going on?! Why did dat guy attack me?! And-"

The panther slaps him across the face.

"Quiet! I didn't save your tail so you could call in every predator in the area!" she growls, shimmering fur fluffed up and ears pinned.

"I don't got a tail tho," he replies, still a bit out of it.

The panther's ears flick back and she just manages to dodge a firebolt aimed at her.

"Ari," hisses the half-demon, back on his feet, "this doesn't concern you"

She responds with a snarl of "Back. Off." and leaps at the enemy.

"Seriously, form-shifter, what is it with you? First you stop me from killing the brats, and now you block me from my chosen prey? Can't a half-demon hunt in peace around here?"

"You and i both know the reason I stopped you from doing the former, " hisses the pantheress, pinning her ears, "as for the latter that thing would probably make you sick!"

" ...Fair point"

"HEY!" snaps ATWR-Fresh, clearly offended.

"Silence, mortal!" is the reply from both.

"Besides, this one is not in your dark master's domain, half-breed."

"I'll grant you that one, she-cat. Back to fighting to the death then?"

"Yes!" she replies, leaping at the other's throat. 

_(_ a/n: _neither one actually dies but they both get really beat up. However, the fight scene proper (without the ATWR Fresh appearance) is going to be in another story in the near future *points at their "Babes in the Wood" fic*)_

* * *

ATWR Fresh gets to his feet and teleports out of there, not wanting to risk getting anywhere near the battle. But his magic isn't working quite right and he lands on his backside again, this time in a mountain meadow.

"Sheesh and i thought dat the shenanigans in _my_ verse were nuts"

Bright eyes peer out of the tall grasses and then a fluffy little goat-girl comes over, her ears back.

"You're not the dark prince"

"Look, i just wanna get outta here. i got no idea who dis 'dark prince' is or where i am or anything, and i keep getting attacked!"

"The dark prince looks like you according to the travelers we get here. Except more stabby."

She looks him up and down, zeroing in on the parasite itself. 

"Also the dark prince is one being, not two."

"Balaa, stop talking to the intruder!" says a black faced white rabbit, "He might be under the dark one's control."

"No, he's not. I don't smell any dark magic on him, Eclipse, calm down."

"I still don't like him."

"Sorry about that, they don't like strangers," says Balaa, studying ATWR Fresh again. "Oh no... your arm. You're hurt. Hold still."

Much to his confusion, Balaa takes his injured arm in her paws, her eyes glowing green. She sings something in a strange language, odd magic flowing over the stress fractures. Unlike most magic he's seen, this looks like tiny vines and flowers. She runs her paw along the injuries as the vines weave through, binding the bones back together. Then she takes out a satchel of medicinal herbs and bandages.

"It's hard on my magic to heal broken bones," she explains, "so this will stop the bleeding for your other injuries and make it hurt less."

She uses the bandages/herbs to heal both the parasite and host, humming an unfamiliar tune til everything's patched up.

Considering most people want to murder him (or at least beat up on him) he's not at all comfortable with this.

"Do you know how i can get out of this dimension?" he asks as the healing finishes, "I've had enough crazy for one day."

"The River-Daughter can help you there! You'll know her by her silver mane. But be careful, the fae have been more active than usual."

"Huh..?"

"You'll find the trail down from our territory near White Bear Rock. But don't go in the caves, the fae will kill you!"

She is way too chipper about this.

"Ah... can't i just teleport?"

"What's teleport?"

"This" he replies, poofing away.

"Well that happened," says Balaa, "back to skywatching?"

"Yep! But first let's get that stranger's scent off you. Don't want to attract predators after all." 

Lupa grooms the other girl, her tail wagging, while Balaa giggles in delight. She returns the grooming as well, nuzzling the dog girl between licks. 

She cuddles against Lupa after both are thoroughly cleaned off and the kids resume watching the clouds.

* * *

Another rough landing in the woods later, ATWR-Fresh is back to running. 

"This place is too weird, i want out!" he mutters, glancing behind him.

As usual he crashes into something in his path, but he doesn't get hurt. There's a golden unicorn with a silver mane, just staring at him. It's extremely awkward.

"Are ya the River-Daughter the goat-girl mentioned?"

The mare nods and gives an affirmative huff.

"Can ya get me outta this dimension? I ran inta another version of me and i don't wanna deal with him again!"

Her horn glows and a portal opens high in the air.

"Uh, ya know i can't fly, right?"

In response, the unicorn grabs him by the shirt and drop-kicks him, sending him flying through the portal. With the intruder gone, the mare shifts back to their true form, a very familiar golden skeleton.

"I wonder what Cross is doing today?" he muses, storing his bow and heading to a black and white hut at the edge of the mountains.

Upon entering, cuddles ensue between the golden shapeshifter and his swordsman-turned-reluctant-witch of a lover as usual.

(a/n: _because i can't resist fluff and Cream is my second-favorite Sans ship (ErrorInk is my favorite) whether platonic or romantic for both ships)_

* * *

ATWR Fresh lands on his backside in yet another au, adding even more bruises to his tailbone. 

"Oof... dis dimension hoppin' is for the birds!"

He finds himself looking at yet _another_ version of Nightmare.

"Nope!"

He runs off. Unfortunately, the version of Nightmare sees him as a threat and gives chase. He's scared for his life again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part takes place in the AU of my _Babes in the Wood_ fic, thus the kid versions of Ink and Error.  
> BitW/BitW versions of characters, and the mountain kids (including Lupa, Balaa, and Eclipse), and Ari (C) me  
> Note: the host being unconscious is headcanon territory; my headcanon is that for ATWR Fresh the host was in a coma and accidentally got a second chance cause the parasite knew an unconscious host wouldn't murder it  
> Note 2: BitW Fresh uses some fancier words and a lot less slang than ATWR-Fresh. Mostly because that slangy speech is a pain in the flank to write. Also BitW Fresh doesn't wear a ridiculous propeller cap since the BitW verse is in a high fantasy style time period. Oh and teleportation isn't a thing in BitW.


	3. Chapter 3

Fresh doesn't get very far before this verse's Nightmare tackles him down. 

"What are you doing here, parasite?"

"I dunno brah, i got kicked by a unicorn and wound up here!"

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"Nah but" (he glances around, noticing there's a slight gap in the tendril cage) "that's what happened!"

He darts through the gap and resumes running in terror, only to crash into this verse's Killer. Who immediately stabs him in the chest.

"Ah ship, not this again" he mutters as he gets back to running, "what is it with y'all beatin' up my host? At this rate i might hafta get a new one. I like this one dangit!"

Bg!Nightmare snarls and brings him down at that comment.

"Don't even think about it" he growls, "or i will kill both you and your host!"

"Think about what? I just wanna get outta here!"

"Don't you dare touch Dream"

"Ya a lot nicer than my verse's Nightmare. He doesn't like his bro much."

This Nightmare tries to stab Fresh for that, but he manages to get free, narrowly avoiding a knife thrown by Dust.

"Will ya stop attackin' me? Funkin' ship, im not even from this au!"

More running, but then Horror brings him down and knocks him on his back.

"I haven't bit you before i don't think, and im curious. Nothing personal."

When the stronger skeleton bites him, Fresh goes completely still, eyelights pinpricks. 

"nonono not again" he mutters, soul pounding.

Seeing the normally annoyingly cheeky parasite in such a state makes everyone in the gang uncomfortable. Well, except bg!Dream because bg!Nightmare didn't even let his brother in the same room as Fresh.

"Uh, did i break him..?" asks Horror, backing away, "I didn't think i bit him that hard, just enough to draw blood."

"At least he'll be easy to get rid of" says Killer, drawing one of his knives.

The 90s nightmare gives a low growl, sounding almost animalistic and takes out one of his explosives, throwing it between the gang and himself. The smoke hides him teleporting away to another au in the bg-verse.

* * *

Bg!Dream gives a scared cry and his brother immediately is at his side, hugging his golden brother. He instinctively wraps Dream in his tendrils as a protective measure while his boys put out the fire. As he soothes and cuddles the positivity guardian, he internally swears revenge on the Fresh of his verse for frightening his brother.

* * *

ATWR-Fresh curls up in a ball behind the rock his teleport led him to, shaking like crazy. Blood drips from his host's neck, but not as much as before. He slowly calms down enough to run again, but then something hard and sharp slams into his host's legs.

**CRACK!**

Even though the parasite can't feel its host's pain, it does not like the sound of that.

"Ohh ship..." 

The host's legs are broken so flight is no longer an option. As if to reinforce this, his wrists get pinned to the tree behind him by sharp black spikes.

"What da heck...? Ink? Since when is a version of ya this stabby?" he mutters when his attacker comes closer.

Rather than answer a sharp swath of paint rakes across his chest. Even the parasite feels that one, and it hisses in pain. Another sharp jolt of pain and...

It takes the parasite a few seconds to realize the cage of bone normally shielding it is gone and that it's bleeding rather badly. 

"Sorry, but there's no room for parasites in my multiverse," says the dark Ink, aiming another painted blade to stab through both parasite and host.

He's thrown back with a wave of bone attacks. The intruder is on his feet, soul-eye blazing bright purple, and a blaster sends bg!Ink flying.

"Oh good, i thought this would be too easy," the enemy growls, glaring at his now-freed and clearly crazed ex-prisoner.

And then a portal opens directly above bg!Ink, a very familiar brush hitting him over the head, hard.

"Et tu, Broomie?" he mutters before passing out cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bg!verse (C) falcongirl013 on Tumblr- basically bg!Nightmare felt bad for turning bg!Dream to stone and took him in when the spell broke, and his gang protects bg!Dream. Also bg!Ink is the big bad rather than XGaster but he fills a similar role


	4. Chapter 4

It takes several minutes for the red fog to clear from Fresh's vision. When he returns to normal (well, normal for him), there's a Broomie with a Classic puppet sitting on it witch-broom style and a tinier Broomie peeking out of the big Broomie's bristles. A small human is crouched over him.

"Here ta finish the job, Helpful?" he growls, still in a very bad mood.

"That was an accident and you know it!" replies the small anon.

The parasite finally realizes its wounds are hurting less and looks around.

"Wait, are ya...healing me? I thought you hated me."

"Im trying to help, but you're hurt really bad. I was able to save you and your host's lives, but i don't think i can reset bones that were completely torn off. And i never said i hated you."

"Oh... sorry i yelled at ya then. It's been one of those days."

Even though it's against his parasitic nature to apologize for anything, even he can tell the tiny human's exhausted. They must have had to use some serious Plot Convenience (TM) power to keep him alive this long.

Helpful Anon just stares at him for a few seconds.

"I have never heard you apologize to anyone for any reason before, and i find it absolutely terrifying."

"Why thank ya! I try."

Helpful just sighs and shakes their head.

* * *

"So where are we anyway?" he asks, noticing there's literally nothing around them.

"Oh, we're just between worlds. Technically i think humans call it limbo."

"...What."

The human ignores him, perking up at something moving in the shadows. A black and white figure appears to a delighted cry of "Mama!"

Helpful charges forward and hugs the winged being.

"Another of her chicks, eh?" says a calm but slightly glitchy voice.

"Weaver! Thank you for pulling me and the others out of that scary au! i know you don't like this one, but he doesn't deserve to die. He's annoying, not homicidal."

While Helpful chatters away at Chaos!Error (who is oddly ok with it, unlike the Error Fresh is used to), the winged being from the first crash pads over, and the 90s nightmare hisses at her.

"Calm your nonexistent tailfeathers. If i meant to kill you i would have by now."

"Ya _do_ know what i am, right?"

"Yes, an annoying parasite. However, your host was effectively 'dead' when you took him over and as such there was no malicious intent."

Now it's the parasite's turn to be creeped out.

"How the funk do you know that? i hadn't met you til i crashed into your au!"

"That's bird demons for you," replies Weaver, not looking up from where cat-form Helpful is demanding pets, "don't question it."

As for Storm, she's healing both parasite and host with ease, her magic flowing like water through the bones, including the broken off ones that she coaxes back into their proper place. Even the obnoxious parasite can feel the incredible and ancient power flowing within her. He actually has enough sense to behave, knowing that's best for his health not to provoke such a powerful being.

* * *

Once the annoyance is healed, the goddess orders him to stay here for a bit, as her children need cuddles. She pads over to Weaver and he happily puts her on his lap. Helpful curls up under a wing, making cute happy chirping sounds. The flier purrs and grooms the human-turned kitten as the child somehow manages to cuddle even closer to Storm's floofy chest.

Not fond of the pda but also not wanting to anger the ones who helped him (especially since he has a feeling the bird-cat thing could instantly vaporize him if provoked), Fresh settles for snarky commentary.

"Ya know, Helpful-brah, da other cats are gonna be jealous if ya keep that up."

"Then let them be jealous" replies the anon, enjoying their mother-figure's attention.

Weaver smiles at them both and takes off his jacket, which he puts around them.

"I'll be poking the highlighter, mom."

"Before you do..." The flier rears up and gently nips her Error's shoulder before grooming Helpful again.

"Ah, glitchy-brah, why did she just bite you?' asks Fresh as Weaver comes over

"Oh, that's because she doesn't trust you around me. So she's reinforcing the bond."

"What."

Fresh is about to say more but then he notices something odd. He pokes Error's chest and Storm immediately swats his host's hand without pausing the grooming.

"Don't touch my kids" growls the goddess

"RUDE" flashes on the glasses, but he decides to talk to this verse's Error.

"...What's with da raised scars on your ribs, glitch-boy?"

The only response is an 'are-you-stupid' deathglare.

"Let's just say you don't mess with bird demons" he replies before going over to said bird-demon and returning to the cuddle pile.

* * *

After Helpful, Broomie, and Broomie's family have been thoroughly fluffed, it's time to leave. Storm and her Error go cuddle under a tree after saying their farewells, knowing that Helpful has made a home with the gayotic idiots. Just before leaving, the floof tells Helpful they are always welcome to visit. She does not say the same thing to ATWR-Fresh, instead warning him that this au is very dangerous for those not used to it. The anon carefully opens a portal, making sure it's not using so much power it weakens the veil.

* * *

"Ya know, i lost a lot of magic back there," says Fresh, watching the vines of magic as they swirl about in a maelstrom, "So can i hitch a ride with ya, Helpful?"

"What do you mean?" they reply, suspicious.

"Relax, i ain't gonna try to possess ya. I like my current host better, thank ya very much, and he's stabilized now. I just can't teleport or use magic attacks for a while."

"Fine, but you better not try anything, or else!"

They clearly don't trust him, but they let him join them in the portal anyway.

"Ya magic is really weird, little human. What's with da vines that keep appearing? Come ta think of it, what kinda human has magic in the first place?"

"I never said i was human," they reply with a smirk.

It's unclear if they're joking or not, but Fresh decides not to push his luck and _actually shuts up_ for once. Helpful scribbles that down in their record book.

Upon arriving back in the ATWR-verse, he's still a bit dazed thanks to the unfamiliar magic that brought him here. 

"Next time i annoy ya guys... just stick to da duct tape please!" says Fresh just before he passes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of background: in the blog Helpful goes berserker when really scared and they kinda attacked the actual parasite and almost killed him


	5. Bonus: Original inspiration for this madness

And here's the original post that started off this mess:

"im the anon that wrote the Broomie-can-reproduce crackfic inspired by this blog and now i want to write an everyone-hates-Fresh crackfic based on this blog too. Could the mods and/or the boys give me some ideas?"

(Mod Crossant screems in praise.)

Error: this (He points to Fresh whos tied, gagged, and webbed upside-down from the ceiling.)

Edge: PUT HIM IN A ROOM FULL OF CATS.

Mod Crossant: throw him into literal hell :) have him meet satan =) (and then he annoys Satan so much hes kicked out XD)

Reaper: kill him :D

Ink: have ~~my 2.5th cat~~ helpful attack him again =D

Blueberry: Here’s an idea, don’t write the fic.

Dream: yeah…

(Everyone disliked that. There’s 13 votes for write it, and 3 for don’t. Fresh is the third.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on an rp scene
> 
> note that "demon" in this context is actually a species name

Peacetime in the atwr HQ. Helpful recently returned from visiting their mom and is fast asleep on Ink. Fresh is hiding from the pack at the moment, as he annoyed Error again.

"Hello, chew toy" says a cold voice from behind.

"AAA! Don't _do_ that- wait, who are ya?"

A large clawed hand picks him up, opens a portal, and literally throws him a good distance away, straight into a lake. By the time he gets to shore, a dragonlike creature is standing over him.

"Forget who, _what_ are ya? And what do ya want with _me_?"

"Im a demon" says the creature with a cheeky grin, "and you can guess why i grabbed you"

It bites both parasite and host, making him yelp.

"Chew toy" says the demon in a sing song voice

* * *

Back in hq:

"Has anyone seen the punching bag?" asks Error, "i was going to beat him up today"

The gays all say they haven't.

"Mrr?" asks Helpful, woken up by the talking

"Fresh is missing," says Blue, worried, "think you can track him?"

The shapeshifter nods, turning into cat form and testing the air.

"Hm, his scent stops here and... oh, this is inconvenient"

"What?"

"He's been captured by a demon, one i recognize. It's not mating season, which is good. This one's species isn't exclusively predatory and it's harvest season so it wasn't for food. The demon is a young one so it probably just wanted to play, attracted by the bright colors"

"Helpful why are you so calm about this?"

"I grew up in the chaos au."

"Hes in the chaos au?!" gasps Blue, alarmed

"Easy, i can find him there."

"You aren't going there alone though."

"...ok. But only a few pack members should come along; you know how dangerous this is for you skeles."

* * *

It's decided that Blue and Edge will come along, Blue because he actually tolerates Fresh and Edge as protection for his brother's boyfriend. Helpful is very capable of taking care of themself. Upon entering the chaos au they guide the others along a deer trail beside a river. Eventually it comes to a waterfall flowing into a large lake, a cave hidden by the water. Helpful gives a sharp hawk-cry.

From the other side of the falls a large dragon-like figure emerges, padding over with Fresh in its teeth. Edge and Blue instantly summon their weapons... and Helpful goes over to kiss the creature on the head.

"Heh, greetings Storm-Child" it says as it drops Fresh to pin under a paw.

"Hello Rowan, i missed you!"

While the confused skeles look on Helpful hugs the giant creature

"I know your mama is away, little shapeshifter, what brings you here?"

"You uh borrowed something of mine"

"Hmm?"

"Your chew toy"

"Wait, but your mark isnt on it..?"

"Actually i use he/him pronouns-"

Fresh instantly shuts up when Rowan looks at him.

"Oh, sorry about that. Anyway shapeshifter, if he's yours why isn't your mark on him?"

"You know how long i take to trust anyone enough for such a bond. Also im still a chick, my magic doesn't cause a permanent mark yet"

"Makes sense. Can i still play with him if i don't kill him though?"

"I doubt the veil will let you. Unless you find a place in between his world and ours..?"

"I can do that easily."

"Very well, but some ground rules: this is your first year being old enough to court at bloomtime, right?"

"Yes it is, and im excited"

"I hope you find a mate quickly Rowan! But during mating season, please don't capture this one; we both know that courting means all bets are off"

"I accept. Anything else?"

"Please don't kill him unless you're in a space where he can be revived easily. And heal him after"

"Understood."

"And don't pick on anyone else, ok? Most have mates and/or siblings, or they might hurt you"

"As you wish."

"So we have a deal then?"

"Indeed little shapeshifter."

* * *

After the ritual is done, Helpful takes themself and their idiots back to the atwr verse, promising to visit Rowan again when they can. And of course Fresh is traumatized.


End file.
